Relationship Counseling
Our relationships are often one of the greatest sources of meaning and joy in our lives, providing mutual support, acceptance, and companionship.
Yet, sometimes, a sense of disconnect can occur, leaving us feeling disappointed, frustrated, or distressed.
Understanding Relationship Conflict
Whether it is a marriage or some other romantic bond, a close friendship, or an adult parent-child relationship, arguments do occur.
Although arguments are natural, they do not always feel good. Arguments can become intense or frequent.
Sometimes they seem like they come out of nowhere—one minute, you are enjoying yourself, and the next locked into a heated argument.
Some people find themselves in a conflict loop, where they have a recurring argument that never seems to go away.
Arguments are not always what they seem either; what might seem like a minor dispute can be representative of a much deeper conflict.
As a metaphor, arguments can sometimes be the “mushrooms” that seemingly “sprout up” on their own, but instead rise from a complex bed of entanglements just below the surface.
Resolving Conflict in Relationships
People are often seeking “conflict resolution.” When I ask them what they mean, they often describe “conflict resolution” in terms of a “conflict-free relationship.”
So, while the term “conflict resolution” is popular, it can be somewhat misleading. Yes, we can “completely resolve” minor disputes;
however, a “conflict-free relationship” is not only unattainable, but striving for it can lead to conflict avoidance.
Conflict Avoidance in Relationships
In relationships with conflict avoidance, sometimes the source of disconnect is not so clear—something just seems “off.”
Individuals might feel anxious and avoid “difficult conversations,” but that does not make the problems go away.
There can be fear of conflict—fear of a conversation turning into an argument or the argument “going too far.” Never arguing might seem desirable,
but if you never disagree, then you might have a surface-level sense of harmony, but you also might “feel stuck” in your relationship.
If you are worried about conversations becoming an argument, you might not have the sense you can be honest or authentic in the relationship.
While not saying what you honestly feel might decrease the likelihood of an argument, it also decreases the likelihood of real, satisfying change.
(You can check your conflict style here)
Positive Change in Relationships Through Conflict
I work with people in relationships where there are concerns about conflict. Some of these relationships could be described as “high conflict,”
and some could be described as “conflict avoidant.” In other relationships, people just want to improve their communication or learn how to “fight better”
when they do fight, even if they do not argue that frequently. In other words, the ultimate goal is not to remove conflict from our relationships,
but to channel conflict into creating more constructive change in our relationships.
Ready to Create Positive Change in Your Relationships?
Transforming just a single issue can dramatically impact your relationship and life. Imagine being able to transform that one issue you frequently argue about or cannot seem to move past.
While changing one issue will not magically fix all your problems, imagine the stress and distress it could spare you. Imagine what a difference that could make in the quality of your relationship and your life.
(You can check your relationship satisfaction here)
Navigating through the complexities of relationship conflict can be challenging. However, the work can lead to stronger, more caring, and more satisfying relationships,
and I am ready to help you with that process.
The first step is reaching out:
Relationship Counseling Checklist:
If you find it difficult to navigate conflict in your relationship, you are not alone—every relationship experiences
conflict at one point or another. My name is Scott, and much of my work has been dedicated to helping others understand
and work through conflict. If you are seeking help with conflict in a relationship, you might be surprised to learn that
the curriculum required to become licensed as a counselor or psychologist, even at the PhD level, has no required training in
conflict. Of course, not all counselors need this type of training. At the same time, if you are seeking help with a relationship,
I want you to be able to decide whether that type of training is important to you. After all, conflict is one of the most common
complaints in relationships.
My journey with the subject of conflict began with my own life...
Read More About Me >>
Commitment to Diversity
Diversity, equity, and inclusion are core values for me and are at the foundation of my Socio-Logic practice.
I recognize and celebrate the uniqueness of each individual, understanding that everyone's life experiences,
identities, and perspectives enrich our shared human experience.
I am aware of the profound impact that systemic racism, discrimination, and other forms of social injustice
have on members of historically marginalized communities. I understand that these injustices can significantly
affect the mental and emotional well-being of individuals, and I am dedicated to addressing these critical
issues within my practice.